The world is in an awful state. What’s the answer? Finding poetry in unexpected places. That’s the answer: found poetry. And I’ll prove it.
Prestigious publishing companies promoting their newest releases take out full- or multiple-page ads in the New York Review of Books. But so do independent presses with literary standards that are, shall we say, not quite so lofty.
Here are word-for-word descriptions from the ads for some of these independent titles. They’re truly meant to sell the books.
I’ve deployed my English-major mojo to transform them into found poetry through the magic of line breaks.
You’re welcome.
—
There’s a parallel universe
with creatures that are
myth in ours. Its new king
is crowned. People from Earth
are abducted.
Bianca is in peril.
—
Aaron creates a new race
of me. Three hundred
impregnated girls are sent
throughout the Milky Way to ensure
our speech
rules the galaxy.
—
Award-winning novelist
and cultural critic
interrogates his own
profession.
It goes terribly.
—
A reluctant ninja
fights to save the mayor and his
fledgling drive-thru fondue business
in this irreverent
action-comedy.
—
Maitreya and the Masters are here to inspire
a complete transformation of our planet…
Our Space Brothers and Sisters,
working directly with them
are here on a
spiritual mission
to help humanity
save the planet from
environmental
destruction.
—
Marauding invaders, stolen art,
cataclysmic earthquakes.
Brigands, partisans,
necromancers,
a seductive sybil.
Snowcapped mountains, rippling vineyards
and olive groves.
Roman ports – Picenum!
—
Max Dent, heart surgeon and
former assassin,
is drawn
into
a terrorist plot
that threatens
another holocaust.
Only Max
can stop it,
if
he
survives.
—
Frank, tired,
life punching down,
famous but broke,
in bad health,
now comes news of
murder
in the family.
And the past comes back,
haunting.
—
What’s to be learned from the unknown fate
of planet Ulro? That’s the question
for the Governor of the New Earth.
—
This book
is good for
America.
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